Trials of a Long Haired Girl

It's been a few weeks, but I feel like I am making progress working on me.  I know that self-help books/audiobooks seem to get a bad reputation, but I do think they can be food for thought.  Most recently, I was listening to an audiobook by Beth Moore called “So Long, Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us”.  This book truly spoke volumes to me.  I can honestly say there was much in that book (things I’d rather not admit) that reminded me of the past me, I mean years past me.  I did not realize that I came across as a complete lunatic, but listening to stories so similar to my own that I have no doubt that I did sound like a lunatic.  It was a rude awakening to hear some of those stories, but to be honest, in this struggle to be a better me; it is a truth I needed to hear.  I actually discussed a situation that happened over seven years ago before we even got engaged.  One of the things that I love about my husband is that he was understand...

I have had a lot of stress going on of late and my food and workouts have been suffering, to say the least.  I had lost 2.2 lbs last week, but gained 3.4 lbs this week.  There is much going on, but I have to figure out how to handle this and move forward.  I do not want to go into 46 (45 is approaching too quickly for me to finish losing the weight before it arrives) being overweight and not happy in my own skin.   This is about me finding what works for me with my life now.  I figured out what worked for me 7+ years ago, but it is not the same now.  I was a single mother with family support and had workout buddies, etc.  Now, I have a husband and children and my mother to take care of and it isn’t always easy to make the schedule work.  I need to figure out how to juggle the schedule.  I am blessed to have a supportive and helpful husband and children, so I am not handling everything completely by myself.   I have made some big change...

I will apologize in advance for this lengthy post. Dear Weight: We’ve had our ups and down, literally.  I did not realize how bad things were for the longest time.  Or maybe I did and I just didn’t want to admit it.  You were my protection, my comfort and the bane of my existence.  However, I am ready to break up with you.  We've been together a long time, but I don't want to be "besties" anymore.  For my health and for my family, I need to move forward with removing you from my body.  You are doing bad things to me.  You increase my risk of heart disease, just to name one.  I want to be healthy and live to enjoy many, many years with my wonderful husband and my amazing family.  Here’s my backstory:  I started out as a chubby baby, but turned into a very thin child.  Until third grade when my school was closing and I had to change schools.  Then I gained weight, a lot of weight in a very short period bec...

Here’s my Friday update: I am down 0.8 lbs. this week.  While it may not be as much of a loss as some, it is still a loss AND the even more important thing for me this week is that I tracked every meal every day!  I am proud of that fact.  I am, however, pondering changing my strength training goals for the moment.  I was reminded this week that I need to have a little bit of wiggle room in the event of an emergency.  My DS15 ran into a car while riding his bike and that was a scary situation, but we wound up spending a fair bit of time in the ER and I had such a headache when it was over.  I do not want to set myself up for feeling like a failure.  At the present, I think I may adjust it for 2 times per week and continuing to hit my step goal, which is still changing from week to week.   I know I need to focus a little more on my food intake in the coming week.   At present, I am 7.6 pounds down from my highest weight.  ...

Hi friends!  I hope all is well!  I am excited to share that I successfully managed to track all weekend!  I was not always easy as DH and I had a date night and I had trouble trying to find a way to accurately track what I had, but I picked things that looked to be approximately the same amount of Smart Points.  My primary goal was to track and I did that.   So a question for all of you, how do you feel about meal planning/meal prep?  I believe I have changed my attitude regarding meal planning/meal prepping and it has definitely made a difference for me.  I may not have everything planned out for each day and I don't think I would ever be that girl, but I have snacks prepared and have an idea of what I am having each day and ideas about dinner.  This allows me to track what I am having and I can be prepared. Something else I feel good about so far in February, I have hit my step goal each day since Jan. 31st and got in some strength traini...

So much has been going on this week.  I have been reflecting over what I have done or need to do better.  I know I really need to get more consistent at tracking.  I started out well, but have gotten complacent.  I know what I need to do.  I really appreciate the fact that I am finally realizing that this is truly about my choices.  I think that I need to be more consistent with my meal prep as well.   I have probably done a little too much this week because my ankle has been consistently swelling at night.  I am still tracking my steps and giving myself a star sticker if I have successfully managed to hit my step goal.  I have been pretty consistent about that this week. As I stated the other day, I went way overboard with my food over the weekend.  I almost used my "no weigh in" pass last night but decided that I needed to face the scale at my Weight Watchers meeting.  I was shocked, but excited that I didn't gain.  I ...

I took yesterday to reflect over my weekend.  I was determined to do better with my tracking over the weekend.  While I didn’t track over the weekend, I went back in on Monday and tracked everything I could remember that I ate (note to self: the paper tracker doesn’t do you any good if you don’t use it).  I went blew through my Weekly Smart Points and every FitPoint that I had earned.  Finding that out yesterday, I had to change the way I was thinking about it.  I am really focusing on the fact that it is truly my choice.  I made each and every choice for each thing that I ate over the weekend.  I am proud of the fact that I tracked it.  I am also proud of the fact that I have had a Dr Pepper sitting on my desk for 2 weeks now and I haven’t been tempted to crack it open.  You are probably wondering why it’s on my desk and not in the fridge or put out of my sight…it seems to disappear when I put it in the fridge and it has been a test for m...

Happy Friday all!  I hope everyone has had a great week!  I am a little late getting this written and posted, but I wanted to check in and let you know how weigh in went.  I lost the 0.8 that I had gained so I am, again, at 199.  I am glad about that.  However, I know that I know that there is more that I can do and need to do.  I am feeling positive about what I have done to this point.  Today, however, I decided to focus on what I can do.  I did a search on YouTube for 10 minute shadow boxing workouts.  I picked one and did it, modifying where necessary since I can’t really do much jumping around right now.  I also did a couple of 10 minute walks that I found on YouTube as well.  I am hoping to add that or some upper body workout in at least twice a week.  I also picked up some paper trackers because while I generally track online, I don’t get online much on the weekend and wind up not tracking.  This needs to chang...

While I can say the weekend didn’t go quite as I had planned, I can say it was a good weekend.  My DS25 paid us a surprise visit on Friday evening.  Saturday, while we were waiting on Salvation Army to pick up our donations, I made some Mom-lets (they are muffin omelets that I make for my Mom) and washed and cut up some bell pepper (about 9) and made some bread.  It was a busy day, but I feel like I got something accomplished even if it wasn’t as much as I had hoped to accomplish.  My back muscle spasms started up again so I think it’s about time for a visit to my chiropractor.  I did hit my step goal on Thursday and Friday and am trying to hit it today as well.  I have also made some decisions that I think will help me greatly.  I have been trying to use my Day-Timer more consistently these days.  I have been posting stars on each day I hit my step goal.  I tend to be visual when it comes to things like that so I know it will help....

This course to find myself is definitely not a direct route, but it continues to move much like my weight loss journey.  I had a slight gain last night (0.8) making my current weight 199.8, but I know I did not do well with my water and all last weekend.   I’m not going to let it shake my resolve.   I know this journey is a process.   To that end, I was watching one of the videos on YouTube from Mind Over Munch talking about “Having a Healthy Relationship with Food”.     This spoke volumes to me and I realized that even when I am not at my goal weight that my habits have truly changed.   I won’t say that I never reward myself with food, but I am trying to do better about that.   I try to portion foods out or have smaller portions rather than tell myself I can’t have something.   I don’t know about you, but if I tell myself that I can’t have something, that seems to be all I want.   I don’t want to live in a world where certain foods a...

Wow!  I have read a few blogs lately that have really hit home with me.  This article in particular:  http://www.popsugar.com/fitness/Why-OK-Indulge-While-Dieting-39800209?utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=d&utm_source=fitsugar This is very similar to negative self-talk vs. positive self-talk, but I never thought about it that way.  Going forward, I believe this is something that will help me.  I have been learning through this journey that this journey is about ME.  I know ultimately that my loss will benefit my family as well, but they can't do this for me.  I have to do this myself.   I know that I will not wake up and the weight be miraculously gone.  It is all about choices.  I can choose to have a slice of pizza and share a tiramisu with my husband and still lose, but each day is a choice.  Each meal I make the decision to follow plan or if I want to have something higher in Smart Points.  I know that if I open a...

Overall, it was a good weekend.  I had yesterday off.  I did not take as much control over my weekend as I would have liked, but I did get some food prep done.  I feel much better when I am able to prepare for the week and have a plan in place.  I have boiled eggs, carrots, hummus and some fruit that I can easily access for snacks.  Also, I decided I would have a rice bowl.  I saw a recipe for them while trying to plan for the week and I decided to do my own spin on them with what I had handy.  I have 1 cup of brown rice, 1 cup of canned pinto beans (rinsed and drained), 1 cup of canned corn, lettuce and tomatoes with about an 1/8 cup of shredded cheese.  It sounded good to me, so I'm hoping it will be as good as it sounded in my head.  I am also wanted to have some veggie pitas or wraps this week.  I am really trying to take things one step at a time and focusing not so much on the weeks in the future, but one day or one week at a t...

This week I lost the weight that I gained is gone and took another 2 pounds with it.  I lost a total of 3.8 pounds this week and a total since the new plan’s introduction of 6.8 pounds.  Overall, I really like this plan and am making it work for me.  This is not always easy and it isn’t going to be, but I am going to figure out how to make it work for me.  This week I am going to work on trying to focus on doing meatless meals.  I have found something that I really enjoy at the Greek restaurant that is meatless.  It is a veggie pita (bell pepper, onion, tomatoes) with hummus.  It’s super tasty and I’m thinking I can figure out how to make this for myself along with some other tasty no meat options.  I’ve looked at some pinwheels that I can whip up for the kids/hubby and me and some veggie wraps.  I'm hoping to make it a good week again and hoping to continue these "meatless" habits into other meals each week.   My step goal will ...

Goals are subject to change without notice, right?  I am trying to only have fruits and veggies this week.  As such, I didn’t prepare any eggs and such.  I came to work prepared though!  I have 2 juices (DS15 prepared juices for both of us last night) for snacks and I brought Borscht that my sweet DH prepared last night.  I also brought an apple, banana, 2 halos, broccoli and baby carrots and carrot chips.  I thought I would steam the broccoli and carrot chips.  Tonight, I will likely put together a veggie soup and some roasted veggies.  If anyone has other suggestions, I would love to hear them!  We got up (as a family) and tried to go to the Rec Center.  By the time we arrived, however, all the machines (aside from the stair steppers) were taken.  We are trying to come up with a schedule that works for everyone, and we really thought getting a workout in first thing in the morning would be the best option.  However, unle...

So, I had my first gain since starting the new program.  I gained 1.8 as of my weigh in last night.  My weight is currently 202.8 lbs.  While I am not thrilled with the scale going in the wrong direction, I know I can’t focus on that.  I can only move forward.  For me, moving forward means meal prepping/meal planning.  I am honestly pondering moving back to Simply Filling so that I can write down my food in my 12 week journal without worrying about how many Smart Points it is other than the occasional treat.  I feel like that may work for me right now, but I haven’t decided completely yet.  That may need to be my focus during the day and have whatever is planned for dinner with my family.  I know I just need to tweak this program to work for me. Goals for this week: MEAL PREP tomorrow.   This will include carrots, eggs, and veggies. Trying to hit my step goal 5 days out of 7. Focus on my water intake.   What are y...

Wow!  Did I really just type that??  Seriously, time has just flown by for me in 2015 and already this year.  I won't lie and say that I wish 2015 was longer or anything like that.  I had two friends lose parents and a FB friend that passed just between Christmas day and New Year's Day, not to mention the friends that were diagnosed with cancer and things like that.  I wish it were easy to make things better, but as we know, there are no easy fixes.  This goes for weight loss and exercise, as well as getting organized or meal planning.    To that end, I've really been trying to make sure I meal prep.  I wasn't feeling 100% on Saturday (the day I have been trying to meal prep) so I decided to wait until Sunday to meal prep, which didn't turn out quite the way I planned.  My DS25 had a blowout and needed my car.  I had enough time to go to the store and start eggs in the oven when he called to ask.  I don't feel totally prepared,...

Honestly, you would think as long as I have been on this journey that I would know that what I may expect on the scale isn't always what I will get when I step on the scale.  I was shocked and surprised last night to step on the scale and realize that I had not gained, as expected, but lost just under a pound!  I have determined that for me that tracking is key, but I was thrilled to see that number go in the right direction.  I am back to tracking though.   As I have decided that 2016 will be my year to meet my weight loss goal, I decided that I wanted more than just the FitBit One.  After discussion with my husband because of the expense, it was agreed that I could get the FitBit Surge.  Because I know I have an issue with change, I didn't replace the One, but added the Surge as an additional device.  I figured out this morning that I believe they are feeding off each other.  I had the One on before I finished set up for the Surge, but they ...

As I sit here eating my snack of carrots and hummus, I have been thinking a lot about how to make 2016 my year to hit goal.  Not just to say it, but to find a way to make it happen.  To that end, I have listening to some audiobooks about being happier at home and being better than before.  It has given me some insights into things that I hadn’t realized before.  My hope is that I can use these things to my advantage.  Some of these new things I think I had already begun realizing but to be able to put it together is definitely helping me know what I need to do to hit goal for the coming year.  Here are a few things I have learned for sure: Meal Planning/Meal Prepping helps me stay on plan. Tracking helps me stay aware of what I’m eating or how I am working out. I tend to do better with a weight loss buddy or workout buddy. I do better with in a structured environment. There is still much I know I need to learn and do to make...

I was reminded this holiday weekend that I do better when I’m in a structured environment.  Home is not overly structured for me.  I need to work on that.  To that end, I feel like I went a little off the rails.  I have planned/packed lunch and snacks today.    I also pre-tracked lunch and snacks when I tracked breakfast.  I am hoping to get things planned ahead again this week so that I can spend some time cooking on Saturday.  This will help me be prepared for the coming week.  It was a good holiday though.  DS25 was able to spend the holiday with us, which is rare these days.    It was definitely enjoyable.  I am pretty proud of the fact that when I weighed in on Thursday morning, I lost another 2 pounds.  I am down a total of 4 pounds since starting the new WW SmartPoints plan.  It is definitely helping me to re-focus on meal planning and packing my lunch and trying to make sure I meal plan ...

I know I disappeared for a short period.  Things have been a little hectic for me with everything going on…the holidays, holiday get-togethers, physical therapy, the Weight Watchers new program reveal, etc.  There is just so much to do.   I am honestly excited about Beyond the Scale.  One of the things I am struggling with is tracking honestly.  I know if I am not honest in my tracking that I am only cheating myself.  My body shows my food journal accurately whether I write it down accurately or not, wouldn’t it be better to KNOW what I did or didn’t do when I look back?  I know I have done it before when I first started Weight Watchers too many months ago to even want to admit to, so I know I can do it now.  I’ve just gotten into some bad habits, which HAVE TO STOP.  After weighing myself last Wednesday (I couldn’t weigh in on my normal Thursday and I only weigh on the official scale if I can help it), I was at an all-time high weigh...