April 2, 2015

I have had much on my mind of late.  I have been having a hard time focusing on making myself a priority and taking care of myself.  I took a break from pretty much everything.  I didn’t meal plan, I missed multiple Weight Watchers meetings, I didn’t post on online forums.  I think I felt like a fraud.  I have been starting threads and trying to be positive about my weight loss efforts, but I felt like a hamster on a wheel.  My weight has just fluctuated up and down and I am pretty much losing and gaining the same 10 pounds or so.  I made some changes that a lot of people are probably going to disagree with, but it makes sense to me.  When I was a small child (i.e. when I was still very thin), I ate whole fat foods, I drank whole milk, I wasn’t focused on eating “diet” everything.  So that’s what I am going back to.  I am focusing on feeding my family unprocessed foods.  I am making snacks for them to take in their lunch boxes so it isn’t filled with all the processed foods.

Now to be really honest with everyone…there are some people that know this and some that do not.  For those that do not know, I apologize for telling you this way, but it seems easier.  I was put on a medication awhile back for migraines.  Some of this may have happened before I took the medication, but it seems to have gotten far worse since.  I honestly can’t remember certain things that have happened.  Memories that I know should be fond, are simply gone.  I know this after speaking with my Sousin (sister-cousin, for those that are curious), who mentioned a memory that we shared regarding our grandmother and an experience we had with her.   I am realizing more and more when people mention things that I just flat out can’t remember.  I have not found that there are people that I can’t remember, but mostly events or specific things that happen at events.   I feel better having shared that.

So I have been reminded that each day is full of choices.  I choose what I eat, what I drink (sodas cannot control me) and how I workout.  So what choices have I made today?  I had a very tasty green smoothie (as much spinach as I could fit into my Magic Bullet cup to get it about half full, 1 c. of milk, 1 small banana, 1 t. each of chia seeds and flaxseed, ½ c. of strawberries and a 1 T. PB2.  For snack, I had celery with 42 grams of Skippy Natural Peanut Butter.  For lunch, I had a chicken pesto panini.  I have had water to drink today.  I know it is a process to get away from the sodas, but I’m working on it.  I am trying to walk and/or cycle to 10,000 steps per day.  With my knee hurting the way it has been since it popped, I may not make it every day if my knee is causing me pain.  No matter what happens, the choice is mine.  Small changes are the name of the game for me right now.