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Change starts now...

Well, actually, it started yesterday.  I made the decision not to go weigh in on Thursday because I had had fun (NOT) sliding home from work a couple of hours earlier.  Since I knew I really needed to see what was going on, I went yesterday morning.  Can I say I have been 100% on plan? No, not really.  But per the official scale, I was 2.6 pounds down.  As I was checking out FB, I noticed that some friends of mine had posted their workouts and it really made me realize that I have been making excuses for myself not to workout.  I do realize that all the workout DVDs or planning in the world isn't going to help me if I don't do it.  So I got up yesterday and did my 5 Really Big Miles DVD (it's Leslie Sansone in case you were wondering) and burned some calories as well as got some toning in as well.  I felt much better once it was done.  Today I headed to the Nia class at Move Studio that my friend Jan was substituting.  I had forgotten how much I really enjoyed Nia until a few weeks ago.

I think I have been struggling, in part, because I have an irrational fear going on.  Just to give some back story, I was raped when I was younger and being a child of divorce, and having an on and off relationship with my dad, I have a hard time trusting...men especially.  I have found a wonderful man that I chose to marry.  I wouldn't trade him for anything, but I have this fear (I know it's irrational.  Didn't I say that already?) that our relationship will change and not for the better.  I have talked to my DH about this and have realized that he will love me and support me no matter where I am in this journey to my healthier self.  Our relationship will change whether I lose weight or not because it is the nature of being married/in a relationship.  I was successful when my DH and I were still dating.  I am determined to take control of my future (with a little help from above) and work towards being a healthier version of me.  Off to plan my workouts for the week. :-)  It's time to make it happen.

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